we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
