We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
