You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize