Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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