this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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