I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
