It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We don't watch enough power rangers
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize