no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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