My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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