I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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