I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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