hotel room ftw
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Randomize
