Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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