Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
