so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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