I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My legs feel like baby dolphins
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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