Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
