So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
