So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
