last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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