we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
