I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
