it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
