Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
