How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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