I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
