As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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