you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Are my feet made of real feet?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
