YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
