You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Is Oprah even human
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize