I am in a vortex of obligation.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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