wat bout pragnant strippers??
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
