Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
