Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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