my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
