Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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