You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You made out with two different species that night
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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