Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
