And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
