did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize