Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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