Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so let's talk penis.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Alive.
So much puke
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
