Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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