I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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