I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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