Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
