I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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