I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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