Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
There are leaves in my underwear?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
