Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
