OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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