He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize