Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
