Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
No subtext here. People are naked.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
