I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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