So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
