we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize