Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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