Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
