I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize