i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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